What a day.

Just got back from the Urgent Health Care clinic. 2nd time this week.

I had gotten 2nd degree burns from a bad sunburn almost a week ago and had been experiencing severe swelling and pain. The edema got bad enough that I couldn't physically walk anymore and would have to leave work and then once back to my apartment I would crawl everywhere. Not normal.

I didn't know if the swelling was solely related to the burns or if my eating disorder was exacerbating those symptoms but I couldn't afford to lose more work so I went to Urgent Care. I was prescribed Predisnone, a steroid. A day after taking the drug I noticed the inflammation was indeed better, but I was gaining weight rapidly and my face was rounder (both typical of steroid use).

I had been told a normal dose for whatever it is usually prescribed for is 5-6mg. If someone enters the ER with breathing problems/asthma attack they are usually given around 60mg and then tapered off to 40mg/day, which is still an incredibly high dose. I was prescribed 100mg for the 1st day and then 50 every day after that. Holy steroids, batman.

I began having other symptoms of heart problems as well and that combined with the weight gain sent me into a panic. I called Urgent Care and they recommended I come back in. So I did and the doctor I had was very nice but completely ignorant on the subject of eating disorders (unfortunately, most doctors are). With the recent weight gain, I don't think he took me seriously when I told him about the eating disorder, since most people still don't realize weight is not a reliable measure for an eating disorder's severity. He even joked, "hey, you're recovering"...assuming that 1. Gaining weight means you're recovering (this is laughable) and 2. that the weight I gained was actually FAT weight which further sent me into a spiral.

And...panic attack. Yes, I had a panic attack in the Urgent Care room with a 60-something doctor. He gave me my own kleenex box, which was nice.

He prescribed me Xanax and I proceeded to get out of there & get it filled. I still haven't taken it yet because the panic attack has stopped, but also because I'm terrified anything I put in my body will turn to fat now. Anything could cause me to gain weight.

I have had 4 cherry tomatoes and 1.5 cups of coffee. Not healthy, but who the fuck cares tonight. After this day I've had, I sure don't.